Linear Reasoning
by Kouryou Sanomi
Summary: It all started because Pepper's mother didn't want her to travel with the rest of the band. [Themcentric][Warning: Slash!] Also featuring groupie!Crowley. Just kidding. Maybe.
1. Part One

It all started because Pepper's mother didn't want her to travel with the rest of the band. (eventually: Adam/Pep, Wensley/Brian, Aziraphale/Crowley, Greasy/Pollution)

Them-centric. Adam is the lead singer and occasionally plays second guitar. Brian plays lead guitar and Wensleydale the keyboard; they both are back-up singers as well. Pepper can't sing a note but she's a wicked drum player. (I perhaps put a lot more thought into this than necessary.) Also featuring groupie!Crowley. Just kidding. Maybe.

Unbeta'd, though I don't think there are any mistakes, but if anyone would like the job... :D

* * *

**Linear Reasoning**

Part One of Eight  
_In Which There Is A Hemp Doily_

* * *

It had been a long time since the Them had been children fighting epic battles and rescuing princesses (that weren't Pepper), but the chalk quarry was still a favorite spot to meet. For one, there was hardly ever anyone around to overhear them.

Pepper stalked back and forth across the chalk quarry, swearing and gesturing furiously.

"You're starting to repeat yourself," Adam said absently. He was chewing on a grass stem as he lounged on a handy milk crate. She turned to face him, fists clenched.

Wensleydale saw the fight coming and moved quickly to head it off. Some things never changed. "How could she do this to us, though?"

Pepper frowned at him but after a moment relaxed her fists. She plopped down onto a crate next to Adam with a sigh. "I dunno. Mum comes up with strange ideas sometimes." She, Adam, and Wensleydale all shuddered, remembering the time with the tofu turkey.

"We can't perform without you, Pep!" Adam complained. "Doesn't she know that?"

Leaning against the rough wall of the quarry, Wensleydale shifted and crossed his arms. "She said she liked our music. Shouldn't she be happy we're getting paid gigs?"

"Yeah, she's supposed to be proud and supportive," Adam said. "Moms always are. It's the dads that think having a band is a waste of time," he added morosely.

"If my dad changed his mind, then yours will, too," Wensleydale reminded him.

"Maybe."

"But mum was always supportive about this before!" Pepper said, exasperated. "I don't know what's gotten into her. It's not the band. For some reason she doesn't trust me to go to London with the rest of you." She gave an annoyed huff. "I'm old enough to go out of town unchaperoned!"

"I think... I know why she doesn't want you to go."

The other three looked at Brian in surprise. It was the first time he'd spoken more than two words all day.

"What is it, then?" Pepper asked impatiently.

Brian didn't seem to hear. He unfolded his lanky body from where he was sitting on the ground and shoved his hands into his jean pockets. "I'd better go talk to her."

"You?" Pepper snorted.

"Are you crazy?" Adam said.

"Or suicidal?" added Wensleydale.

At this Brian seemed to wake up from the daze he had been in. "Your confidence is overwhelming," he said, giving them a dirty look and turned to head out of the chalk quarry. The other three Them gaped after him.

* * *

"Is that you, Pippin? Oh."

"Good afternoon, Missus Cupier." Brian smiled nervously.

"Brian," she replied with a stiff nod. Pepper looked a great deal like her mother: red hair, freckles, hazel eyes, and a stubborn chin. She was also very petite, although you often forgot that with the force of her personality-- again, like her daughter.

"Um... can I come in?"

She lifted an eyebrow and cooly looked him over.

Brian had tried to dress somewhat decently that day, anticipating a confrontation. He was wearing a freshly washed blue button-up shirt and jeans, though the jeans had chalk all down the back and the shirt was somehow stained with a bit of mustard near the hem. Still. The attempt had been made. He managed to pull it off better now that his light brown hair had grown out long enough to tie back.

"I suppose so," she answered reluctantly.

* * *

"My mum isn't the murdering kind."

"Not even in self-defense?"

"But that wouldn't be murder."

"Sure it would."

"Look, you two aren't making me any less worried."

"You worry all the time, Wensley."

"I think I've got good reason this time. Brian's been different lately."

"What do you mean 'different'?"

"I dunno. Different."

A pause.

"D'you think maybe he'd murder your mum?"

"At least then I could go to London."

"We couldn't perform with Brian in prison, you know."

"Oh, right."

"Maybe you'd better go after him, Pepper?"

* * *

"Maybe I'd better get to the point."

"Please do."

They were both seated at the kitchen table. Brian fidgeted with his glass of lemonade. "Pepper said that you didn't approve of her going to London with us."

"More or less, yes." She smoothed a wrinkle on the hemp doily that decorated the table.

"I've been thinking why that might be, you see. I mean, there's the first thing that comes to mind, that you don't trust Pepper-- Pippin, that is." He noticed her automatically open her mouth to defend her daughter, but then decide to stay silent. Brian continued. "But that's rotters. Pep has more sense than anyone I know. She does get into trouble a bit," he had to add, "but it's always for a good reason."

Missus Cupier nodded proudly, mother to the core.

At her expression Brian smiled wanly. He wished _his_ parents were as supportive. "So we both know it's not that one. The next thing that comes to mind as that you don't trust the rest of us."

Pepper's mother shifted ever so slightly in her seat and he knew he had guessed correctly. "Oh?" she said.

"Yeah. Wensleydale, Adam, and me."

Brian took a drink of the lemonade and blinked. It was really good lemonade. He hadn't thought she'd waste good lemonade on him.

She tapped her fingers on the tabletop impatiently, and Brian quickly continued. "Pepper's definitely not in any danger from Wensleydale."

They both tried to imagine Wensleydale threatening _anyone_ but their brains just couldn't wrap around the idea.

"And, Adam, well... Adam's Adam." That's all there was to it. He wasn't about to do something the easy way even if the other road was long and difficult. _Very_ long and _very_ difficult. He'd even been talking about asking Missus Cupier's permission to court her daughter, knowing full well that Pepper would cream him if she found out about that.

"That leaves me." Against his better judgement, Brian looked up from the glass to Pepper's mother. She was staring at the table and that was somehow worse than if she had been yelling at him. He was used to yelling.

"I know I've got a bad reputation, Missus Cupier. In my defense, it's mostly based on rumour and you know how full of lies rumour can be." He took a deep breath. "I have smoked marijuana," that seemed safe enough to admit considering her past, "but not often and not recently. I don't do the harder stuff. Anyone at the auto shop can tell you I'm a good employee. I show up on time and do good work." She still wasn't making eye contact. He knew it would have to come to this, but he'd hoped otherwise.

"Missus Cupier, I want you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I've no intentions toward your daughter except as a friend."

Now she met his eyes, raising an eyebrow.

Brian was looking at her rainbow tablecloth.

* * *

Adam and Wensleydale were alone in the chalk quarry. The wait was horribly nerve-wracking and they both wished they had gone along with Pepper. Or that Adam had Done Something About It.

It was well known but never spoken about amongst Them that Adam could do things that no one else could. He often had to work hard at _not_ doing anything. Some people would give in and make the world what they wanted to be with that power. Adam could do that if he wanted to. But he didn't. The more he might want to Do Something the harder he would hold on to Not Doing Anything.

Adam was like that.

Then they heard the sounds of an argument, surprisingly cheerful considering one of the two involved was Pepper. She and Brian appeared at the edge of the quarry and scrabbled down the tiny chalky cliff. Pep's beaming face told the other two everything.

Adam and Wensleydale gave Brian a look bordering on awe. To change Missus Cupier's decision on _anything_ was a near miracle (and they had seen some miraculous things in their day).

"He was amazing!" Pepper said.

Brian grinned nervously. "Er. Yeah. What she said."

"How did you _do_ it?" Adam asked.

"Um. Well, she didn't want Pepper to come with us 'cause she thought I would molest her or something."

The other two boys stared at him.

"Well..." Wensleydale said finally, "there were a some rumors..."

"'Bout Maggie, yeah." Adam shook his head in disbelief. "But you never _touched_ her. It was just some dumb rumor she started because you turned her down."

"And I still can't believe my own mother would believe rumor over me!" Pepper interrupted.

"But you convinced her it wasn't true?" Wenselydale wondered why Brian looked so nervous.

"Um. Yeah. I told her I was queer."

"And she _believed_ you?" Wensley grinned in relief. The way Brian had been acting he'd been afraid that Brian had killed her after all.

"Why shouldn't she? It's true."

There was a sudden silence in the quarry. Brian seemed to find his chalk covered trainers fascinating.

Wensleydale tried to process what he'd heard. "You..."

"Yeah."

"You're...?"

"Yeah."

"So you're a...?"

"Homo," Brian supplied, still looking at his shoes.

"That's no big deal," Adam said.

"Of course not!" Pepper glared at Wensleydale, daring him to say another word.

"It's not like you'd molest us any more than you would Pepper, right?" Adam grinned.

Brian grinned in return, relieved. "I only molest the willing."

"Then there's no problem... right, Wensley?" Adam gave Wensleydale a significant look that on anyone else might have been called a glare.

"Er. Right. Yeah. No problem."

"So everything's cool." Adam smiled and suddenly they were all one big happy family.

Except Wensleydale couldn't look Brian in the eye. And Brian noticed.

* * *

To Be Continued...


	2. Part Two

It all started because Pepper's mother didn't want her to travel with the rest of the band. (eventually: Adam/Pep, Wensley/Brian, Aziraphale/Crowley, Greasy/Pollution)

Adam is the lead singer and occasionally plays second guitar. Brian plays lead guitar and Wensleydale the keyboard; they both are back-up singers as well. Pepper can't sing a note but she's a wicked drum player. (I perhaps put a lot more thought into this than necessary.) Also featuring groupie!Crowley. Just kidding. Maybe.

Unbeta'd, though I don't think there are any mistakes, but if anyone would like the job... :D

* * *

**Linear Reasoning**

Part Two of Eight  
_In Which Brian And Wensley Have An Argument_

* * *

"I could make you famous, kid, if you'd just--"

"We're a _band_, and we're sticking together, Mister Oozy."

"That's 'Ossay'--"

"So thank you, but no."

Adam very firmly showed the man to the door of the club. Oozy was a more accurate name; he oozed more charm than his hair oozed gel.

"But--"

"Good _night_, Mister Oozy."

Adam didn't slam the door shut, though he did wipe his hands off on his jeans.

One of the waitresses was sweeping up after the party and she raised an eyebrow at him. "Who was that?"

"Just some creep who wanted to be my 'agent.'" Adam snorted. "Like I'd leave the others for some stupid record deal."

The waitress' name was Julie. At one point she'd had a crush on Adam but had wisely remained quiet about it until it went away. She wasn't a fool after all.

Julie smiled softly. "You really watch out for them, don't you?"

Adam looked toward the back of the club where the others were getting the equipment packed away. You could hear Pepper yelling at the groupies even from that far away. "We watch out for each other." He gave Julie a smile. "So how did you like our show?"

"It was very good," Julie said earnestly. "Even better than last week's."

"Yeah?"

"Very yeah." She smiled a little foolishly, then realized what she was doing and got a grip on herself. "Er." Julie coughed. "Though the light show seemed a bit too much, especially during 'One Week To Live.' You might consider going back to the set you had the week before last."

"Really? Yeah... Yeah. You've got a good point. Thanks, Julie!" He grinned and clapped a hand on her shoulder. "You should join the music business."

Julie couldn't resist grinning back; Adam's cheer was very infectious. "Nice of you to say, but I like paying my bills, thanks. Not all musicians are overnight successes like you."

"Hardly overnight," he laughed. "Well, don't work too hard tonight. I'd better head off." Adam set off for the back of the club in a jog.

She watched him head off and sighed. Pepper was a very lucky girl.

* * *

Brian snapped the lid shut on the guitar case and gave it a final pat, like you would an old friend.

Brian believed in instruments like he believed in cars. Treat them well and they'll do the same for you. Treat them well enough and they'll probably last longer than you. And newer was definitely not better.

"Brian, take the amps with you when you store the equipment," Pepper commanded, fists planted on her hips.

Brian rolled his eyes, safe in the knowledge that his back was to her and she couldn't see his expression. "Sure, Pepper."

"And Wensleydale-- Wensley? Where'd he go?" Pepper gave an aggrieved sigh. "He did a runner _again_? Brian, go find him would you? And beat him black and blue for me, if it's not any trouble."

He grinned at the looks of fear and awe the groupies had. "Right."

"But put away the amps, first!"

"_Right_."

* * *

Wensley sat slouched on the old, lime-green couch in the backstage dressing room. It had probably been in the backstage dressing room since the club's creation, and had Wensleydale been paying more attention to his surroundings, he might have reconsidered sitting on its stained and ragged surface.

He had Adam's guitar held loosely in his hands as he stared into space.

Adam wrote all of their songs. The rest of them might have some ideas to add, but essentially Adam came up with the lyrics and the tunes. And really, it was better that way. Because Adam was more creative in one finger than the rest of the Them were combined.

Wensley idly strummed his fingers across the strings.

Sometimes, though, it was easier to just play, and not worry about thinking. For just a few minutes not care about still living with his parents, or managing computer networks, or possibly getting mugged in London, or his complicated friendships.

"Wensley, are you there?"

Wensleydale dropped the guitar onto the couch like it was a hot brick.

* * *

"Hey."

Adam absently laid an arm around Pepper's shoulders. She slapped it off just as absently.

"So?"

"Done. I told you he'd do anything I tell him to."

"No one would dare not to, Pep."

Adam grinned in spite of her dangerously raised eyebrow.

* * *

Brian entered the dressing room and found Wensleydale was picking up the sheet music that had been scattered around when they'd rehearsed.

"Just straightening up in here, you know how it goes." His smile was bright and brittle.

"Yeah." Brian stood at the door, expression carefully neutral.

"I bet Pep's after me." Wensley gave a stilted attempt at a laugh. "Pretty much done here, I'd better go see her before she loses her temper. And Adam forgot his guitar, I should give that to him as well, you know forgetful he can be," he babbled.

Brian's hand smacked into the doorframe in his attempt to keep Wensley from slipping past him. Wensleydale looked at the arm blocking the doorway in surprise.

"Can't you stay in a room with me for even a minute?"

Wensley bit his lip. "I don't know what you're—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Brian hissed. "You think I'm that stupid? That I haven't noticed? That suddenly you're too busy to hang out with us. You're barely there for rehearsals and you leave as soon as possible after shows. Do you deny it?"

Wensley stared at the ground, unable to answer. And that was answer enough.

Brian let his arm fall to his side. It had been a busy weekend, ferrying all their instruments and equipment to the club, setting everything up, rehearsing, and then the performance. It had been a good show, but a tiring one. Now all that caught up with him and Brian just felt drained and tired. What was the point, really?

"Fine. I get that you can't stand the sight of me."

Wensleydale's gray eyes were wide behind his glasses and he was very pale. "It's not like that—"

"Isn't it? Ever since I came out, you've been avoiding me like the plague. And when you haven't you've been staring at me like I'm a cockroach."

Brian told himself it was just the bright lights that made his eyes sting. And there was Wensleydale, just standing there, and looking as trembling and white as the princesses they'd once imagined to rescue.

It made him _angry_.

Did Wensley honestly think he had chosen things to be this way? God, how much _easier_ everything would be if he actually liked girls. But Brian wasn't going to pretend to be something he wasn't just to make things easier. He wasn't going to live a lie.

"I understand, all right?" Brian said sharply. "I understand that it's fine for other people to be gay, right, but not one of your friends. Too close for comfort? Maybe I should just crawl back under the rock I came from!" His voice rose as he was speaking and was shouting by the end.

"Stop it!" Wensleydale grabbed Brian by the shoulders, shaking him to emphasis his words.

Brian stared at him in astonishment and at the same moment Wensley seemed to realize what he'd done. He loosened his painful grip immediately, but didn't let go.

"Stop—stop talking like that."

"It's true, isn't it?"

"No, it isn't!" Wensley looked back at him defiantly. "You surprised me, is all."

Brian snorted disbelievingly.

"No, _listen_." He let go of Brian and, frustrated, ran a hand through his short, dark hair. "It's the four of us, you know? It's like... if we've got each other, we don't need anybody else. I know I don't have any close friends except for the three of you." Wensleydale shook his head. "I'm not really sure what I'm saying. I guess it's just that I was upset that I didn't know this about you. I mean, we're supposed to be best friends."

"I worked real hard to hide it," Brian said quietly.

"Still..." Wensleydale shrugged. "It confused me. I mean, I thought I knew what kind of person turned out to be gay. But... if you're gay, then anyone could be."

Brian raised his eyebrows quizzically. "Well, _yeah_. That's the whole point, Wen."

"Yeah." Wensleydale smiled sheepishly. They both stared at the floor. "Um. Shall we start again?"

Brian smiled—- it was tired and lopsided, but a smile nonetheless. "Hullo Wensley. I'm gay."

Wensleydale gave him a look of mock surprise. "But you're so _tall_!"

* * *

Adam and Pepper entered the room to find the two laughing so hard they were leaning against each other for support.

"Well, _finally_," Pepper said with a smirk that was only slightly tinged with relief.

"Wanna let us in on the joke, boys?" Adam grinned with no sense of relief at all, because he hadn't any doubts that Brian and Wensleydale would work out their difficulties. Most of them, anyway.

* * *

"Jeremy. _Jeremy_! Dinner's ready, honey!" Wensleydale could hear his mother call up the stairs.

"Sharon, leave the boy be. He's old enough to take care of himself." His father's voice.

"But he eats so _little_, it's barely enough to keep a bird alive..." Whatever Mister Wensleydale's reply was, his son was unable to hear it.

Wensley lifted his head up and led it fall back onto the desk with a thud.

Real brilliant, Wensleydale. Thud. Alienate your best friend. Thud. Ruin the social dynamics of the Them. Thud. Miss rehearsals and not be prepared for shows. Thud. Real brilliant.

He stopped hitting his head on the desk and leaned back in the computer chair. "It seemed like a good idea at the time," he muttered to himself. Wensley put his glasses back on and rubbed his aching forehead.

He wasn't going to avoid Brian anymore. No matter how uncomfortable it might make him feel, it wasn't fair to Brian or the rest of Them.

With a heavy sigh, Wensleydale got up from the chair to flop down on his bed.

He had lied to Brian, about why he'd been avoiding him.

Wensley curled on his side, hugging his pillow to his chest.

_If you're gay, than anyone could be._

* * *

To Be Continued...


End file.
